I admit it, I hold doors and I’m proud of it. While that may not sound impressive it goes against a worrying trend, that gentlemen are becoming an endangered species. Let me explain.
At the main entrance of the office where I work there are three doors. A revolving door flanked by two which are opened by a security pass. I always opt for the one on the right and take a look back to see if I can hold it for anyone. Granted, this won’t win me any favours with the security staff yet I see it as a necessary, painless gesture of goodwill. I would like to say that I’ve received a smile and a thank you every time I’ve done this but half of the time it barely gets noticed.
This is my problem. I was brought up to be a gentleman, Ps and Q’s are a given. When you hold a door, especially for a few seconds, and it goes unnoticed you wonder what the point is. You begin to question your own good intentions, no wonder gentlemen are in short supply. I won’t change yet so many men find it easier to act like a douchebag and there is a market to be tapped.
There is a wider issue at hand here, the worrying growth of ‘lad culture’. A few weeks ago there was an encouraging response to the sexually violent preaching of Julien Blanc and the irksome, misogynist comedy of Dapper Laughs. However, a video from Blanc teaching men how to sexually assault women in Japan amassed over 50,000 views while 364, 454 followers of @dapperlaughs cannot all be wrong.
The two gained notoriety as they were so popular and had found a willing audience. While those two have grabbed the headlines it’s the cheeky memes of a woman’s place in the house is in the kitchen, etc. that are becoming dangerous. Funny? Not really. Frivolous? Certainly. The underlying message of disrespect towards women remains the same and there are men who find this sort of ‘banter’ acceptable. It isn’t.
The main worry is that acting as a gentleman is now seen as weak. When I go out to a pub or club I see a fair amount of ‘peacocks’; lads dressed to impress, necking shots, being loud and proud of it. Simply getting served is now a challenge in itself with various vexing techniques employed. From waving notes to grab attention to forcing an arm between other patrons so you can squeeze in the gap.
Alpha male culture is in, gentlemen are on the way out.