Lifestyle

Where have all the gentlemen gone?

I admit it, I hold doors and I’m proud of it. While that may not sound impressive it goes against a worrying trend, that gentlemen are becoming an endangered species. Let me explain.

At the main entrance of the office where I work there are three doors. A revolving door flanked by two which are opened by a security pass. I always opt for the one on the right and take a look back to see if I can hold it for anyone. Granted, this won’t win me any favours with the security staff yet I see it as a necessary, painless gesture of goodwill. I would like to say that I’ve received a smile and a thank you every time I’ve done this but half of the time it barely gets noticed.

This is my problem. I was brought up to be a gentleman, Ps and Q’s are a given. When you hold a door, especially for a few seconds, and it goes unnoticed you wonder what the point is. You begin to question your own good intentions, no wonder gentlemen are in short supply. I won’t change yet so many men find it easier to act like a douchebag and there is a market to be tapped.

There is a wider issue at hand here, the worrying growth of ‘lad culture’. A few weeks ago there was an encouraging response to the sexually violent preaching of Julien Blanc and the irksome, misogynist comedy of Dapper Laughs. However, a video from Blanc teaching men how to sexually assault women in Japan amassed over 50,000 views while 364, 454 followers of @dapperlaughs cannot all be wrong.

The two gained notoriety as they were so popular and had found a willing audience. While those two have grabbed the headlines it’s the cheeky memes of a woman’s place in the house is in the kitchen, etc. that are becoming dangerous. Funny? Not really. Frivolous? Certainly. The underlying message of disrespect towards women remains the same and there are men who find this sort of ‘banter’ acceptable. It isn’t.

The main worry is that acting as a gentleman is now seen as weak. When I go out to a pub or club I see a fair amount of ‘peacocks’; lads dressed to impress, necking shots, being loud and proud of it. Simply getting served is now a challenge in itself with various vexing techniques employed. From waving notes to grab attention to forcing an arm between other patrons so you can squeeze in the gap.

Alpha male culture is in, gentlemen are on the way out.

Mums' Days

´╗┐

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Lifestyle

Movember. Final thoughts

That’s it then. Another Movember gone and more funds raised to change the face of men’s health so what have I learnt? Moustaches went out of fashion at some point in the 80’s. In the present day there is something dangerous, even malevolent about them. After the strange ‘is he doing Movember?’ glances during the first two weeks and the ‘he is yknow’ stares for the final two weeks it’s been a strange month. People really find moustaches a little odd.

Apparently I suit a moustache. Several friends and family commented that it didn’t look out of place. My hometown newspaper, The Sentinel, asked for photos on Twitter and mine appeared as the lead photo on the gallery on their website. Nice. Then I received a mention on December 1st to say that I’d won their competition (I have no idea who voted but thanks) and I’ve won a wet shave and a shaving giftset.

The fact is I was constantly aware of its presence like a huge spot and would spend several minutes in thought gently strok─źng it. Come the morning of December 1st I could not wait to shave it off, save for a couple of Charlie Chaplin poses that will never see the light of day.

In the space of a month I can go from looking like I’ve missed my top lip on a morning shave,

Missed my top lip while shaving

Missed my top lip while shaving

To a prickly caterpillar

The Prickly Caterpillar Stage

The Prickly Caterpillar Stage

To Charles Bronson

The Charles Bronson Stage

The Charles Bronson Stage

To a serial killer

The Serial Killer Stage

The Serial Killer Stage

To one of the Magnificent Seven

The Magnificent Seven Stage

The Magnificent Seven Stage

To a full on Handlebar

The Trucker Stage

The Handlebar Stage

To a Trucker

The Trucker Stage

The Trucker Stage

To a South American despot

The South American Despot

The South American Despot

If you would still like to donate then feel free at uk.movember.com/mospace/3678097

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